Sneaky marshmallow hiding in the corner of the packet I can see you…. Nom nom nommmmmm. Red wine flowing (from a bottle into a glass into my mouth into my belly and beyond). I’m leaving the flat I’ve been sitting for nigh on six(ish) months and I’m sad. Pizza was the farewell meal. Clothes in the suitcase. Work stuff piled around me high. Bare looking walls just like the ones I was writing about before Christmas for The White Room. Multiple cardboard boxes are breeding and being branded with crude felt-tip. Someone died in this flat and they left a legacy of frozen photographs and a plethora of books (with paintings to boot). I’ve lived in this flat. I’ve lived off this flat. Someone lent me their space and abode and I’ve kept it well and cherished the alone time I got. I miss my whiteboards and somewhat strangely my dog. Shitface. He’s not called that but it’s what I call him and it’s to what he responds – we didn’t have the best of relationships when he came home to stay at the beginning. I’ve written a lot here. It almost makes me think that I will hit some mentally enforced wall when I return to which I will spit at and will break down because I’ve got things going on. Projects spilling into my head thick and fast and not enough time to write them down. I’ll ignore the fact that when I do acquire this time I laze and procrastinate wildly. Profusely. Inanely. It’s what I do. Next up is deciding how I keep this up. I will. I will. I will. I will not slip back into my old ways of sitting not knowing what to do until the stupid hours of the morning living the tired regret of not getting anything done at all. I won’t. I won’t. I fucking won’t fucking think I haven’t got what it takes to take a project to completion. My name is Katie McCullough. My other names – Kate, Katikins, Beacon, Sassy Gal, BiNGO, Kattles, Sniglet, Katoir, Rottwer… The list goes on and is ever-growing. These be my monikers and with them a slice of what I’ve been, who I am and what I shall be. I’m going home and I’m going to be doing more than ever to keep this ball rolling.
Thank you and goodnight (to the flat).